From all accounts, the Year 5 students had a wonderful time at Sovereign Hill. The girls were incredibly excited to leave last Wednesday and arrived at school, Friday afternoon to the waiting arms of their parents, tired but acknowledging it was a fabulous camp. I am sure many stories and photographs were shared over the weekend! We are delighted to have all of the campers back and a very big thank you to the staff, Miss Wootton, Miss Wardlaw, Miss Flint and Mrs De Nardis, for taking the girls.

House Cross Country

It was wonderful to see such determination and enjoyment from our students at this week’s House Cross Country. My thanks to Mr Crebbin and Mrs De Nardis for such a well organised event as well as our Barbreck staff for ensuring such smooth running on the day. Mr Crebbin will provide a full report next week.

Strategies for Building Personal Resilience

According to Caroline Miller, editorial director of the Child Mind Institute, tantrums and meltdowns are among the biggest challenges of parenting. Often parents express their frustration as to why they happen and are confused about the best management approaches.

The first step for parents is to understand the psychology behind children getting upset.  Dr Brenda Heyworth, author of the book, It’s a Jungle, explains that children are not born with emotional self-control but must learn this control over time. For parents, understanding that when children have tantrums the size of their emotions (anger, frustration, anxiety, disappointment, guilt, embarrassment) are too large and cannot be managed, may assist.

Laura Kastner, a clinical professor of psychiatry and behavioral sciences at the University of Washington, states ‘In neurological terms, when your child is having a meltdown, they are experiencing an “amygdala hijack.” The emotional part of their brain is reacting to a stressor as if it were a predator, and this triggers a “fight, flight or freeze” reaction.’ This understanding can support parents determine how to respond effectively.

Kastner in her article, ‘7 Parenting Tips for Managing the Meltdowns of Easily Distressed Children’ recommends a number of strategies.

Validate their feelings

Let them know you understand they are upset by paraphrasing what you believe is the problem. It is important not to be dismissive of their feelings or circumstance.

Stay patient and understand what your child is experiencing

Being compassionate to their emotions is the quickest path to resolving the situation.

Listen and repeat.

Sit quietly with your child, repeating what they are saying in a clear and calm manner, lets them know you are listening and trying to understand.

Anxiety is like gravity — what goes up, must come down

Your child’s emotions will abate. The aim is to make sure that, as parents, you do not prolong this period by arguing, criticising, blaming or using too many words’.

You’re not spoiling your child

Although these processes may take time, you are learning to understand their anxiety and what triggers it. Helping or teaching them to self-calm will be of greatest benefit to you and them in the long run.

Remember the old adage “The only person you can control is you.”

As parents it is important to role model your own “self-calming”. One technique is to breathe in slowly over five seconds and exhale slowly over the next five seconds. Getting your child to do this with you is a fabulous strategy.

Consider distraction

As the anxiety begins to subside, distraction may hasten the process. Getting them to notice something or telling them stories is ideal.

St Catherine’s WeThrive Wellbeing Program guides students to identify and regulate their emotions, fostering more positive and respectful relationships. The thematic, integrated and age appropriate wellbeing program begins with ELC – Year 2 – weExplore, Year 3 and 4 – weGrow and Years 5 and 6 weReach targets the various emotions most prevalent at these stages. Classes often discuss emotions and circumstances and use role play for students to see situations from a number of perspectives.

References:

https://childmind.org/article/why-do-kids-have-tantrums-and-meltdowns/

https://www.itsajungle.com/

http://www.parentmap.com/article/laura-kastner-tantrum-anxiety-tips